It can be helpful for those trying to make sense of the ‘mind’ to recognize that these three concepts, being, self and personality are quite distinct and different things. Once you have some grasp of these concepts this will help you focus on what is important while minimizing the unnecessary.
We can recognize ‘being’ as the initial or uncontaminated experience, similar to a baby who, at this stage is free from any learning or conditioning. Awareness, at this stage is relatively pure, without recognition of any particular object nor any concept of time.
The process of objectifying this blur of colour, noise, smell and maybe even touch, we label it as ‘horse’. Prior to learning to do this, we simply experience the raw sense data. However, once we have learned to spot a horse, as soon as we can clearly sense it again, we will see a horse.
With increased learning we habitually learn to identify and subconsciously label any and every sensory and mental object that presents itself to our awareness. This creates an increasing sense of subjectivity which we call ‘the self’. Although this sense of subjectivity is entirely dependent on the process of objectification from and to the self, since briefly with each episode of sensory or mental objectification.
It takes time to appreciate that our feeling of self is simply a consequence of language – initially we tend to reject the idea that ‘self’ is an illusion. Yet we can reflect that it arises as a concept after the acquisition of language to it is, at best, a mere concept.
Self becomes troublesome as we fail to recognize the subjectivity as transient and uniquely arising as a consequence of objectification. We mentally attach each experience of subjectivity into a time line – which we experience as ‘me’ as it moves through time. We then make judgments about the relative successes or failures of this entirely fictitious self. This causes significant suffering despite it being an entirely fictitious entity.
Don’t worry if this seems confusing at first – it is somewhat challenging to grasp, but once you do it can be very liberating. Once you clearly understand these distinctions it transforms your outlook and facilitates the dismissal of much of the anxiety we might create about ourselves.
Summary
Pure Being: Our Original State
Think of being as our most basic state of awareness – like a clear mirror before any images appear. It’s similar to how a newborn experiences the world: pure awareness without labels, judgments, or even a sense of time. This state still exists within us, though it’s often clouded by our thoughts and conditioning.
Personality: Our Learned Patterns
Formation Through Experience
Our personality is essentially a collection of learned responses and behaviours. It’s like a garden that grows based on the care it receives:
- With nurturing role models and stable environments, we develop balanced responses
- Through difficult experiences or trauma, we might develop protective behaviours
- From struggling caregivers, we often inherit their coping mechanisms
Impact on Daily Life
Many of our automatic reactions come from this conditioning. For example, someone who experienced betrayal might find it hard to trust others, while someone raised in a supportive environment might find it easier to form relationships.
The Self: An Emerging Story
Development Through Language
The sense of self typically emerges between ages 4 to 7 coinciding with language development. It’s like learning to read – once you know letters, you can’t look at text without seeing words. Similarly, once we learn to label experiences, we create a viewer separate from what’s being viewed.
How Self Concept Forms
When we see a tree, we don’t just experience colours and shapes anymore – we think “I am seeing a tree.” This creates two things: the object (tree) and the subject (I). Over time, these countless moments of “I am experiencing X” create our sense of continuous self.
Understanding Modern Perspectives
Scientific Insights
Modern psychology supports this understanding:
- Brain imaging shows self-related thoughts activate specific brain regions
- Mindfulness research reveals how our sense of self can be more flexible than we assume
- Developmental studies confirm the crucial role of language in self-concept
Practical Applications
Daily Awareness Practice
Try this simple exercise: For a few minutes each day, notice experiences without labelling them. Feel sensations, hear sounds, but don’t name them. This helps reconnect with pure being.
Working with Personality
When you notice automatic reactions:
- Pause and observe without judgment
- Remember these are learned patterns, not your core being
- Consider if the response still serves you
Relating to Self
Rather than seeing your self as fixed:
- Think of it as a useful tool, like a narrator of your life story
- Notice when identifying with thoughts causes suffering
- Remember you can observe thoughts without being caught in them
Finding Freedom
Understanding these distinctions can be deeply liberating. When we realise our personality isn’t our essence and our self is more fluid than we thought, we gain freedom to:
- Respond more skilfully to challenges
- Let go of limiting self-judgments
- Access more of our natural wisdom and clarity
Remember, this understanding develops gradually. Be patient with yourself as you explore these concepts. The journey of self-discovery isn’t about reaching a destination but about bringing more awareness and compassion to your experience.
© 2024 Dr Simon Robinson